What is Parentification?

Parentification occurs when a child prematurely assumes the typical adult’s responsibilities, often due to their parent’s inability to adequately support the family amid significant life stressors (Boszormenyi-Nagy & Spark, 1973; Dariotis et al., 2023). Common reasons associated with parentification include the parent’s physical or mental illness, loss (e.g., death, divorce, incarceration), crises (e.g., unemployment, eviction), and dysfunctional family dynamics (e.g., domestic violence) (Dariotis et al., 2023).

Types of Parentification

Parentification may occur in several forms, with the most common being instrumental and emotional parentification.

Instrumental Parentification. Instrumental parentification involves the child being tasked with physical and/or functional responsibilities for maintaining the household (Engelhardt, 2012). This may include paying bills, cooking meals, and being the caretaker of one’s family members who are sick, disabled or old (Dariotis et al., 2023; Engelhardt, 2012).

Emotional Parentification. Emotional parentification involves the child having to support the emotional and psychological needs of their family members (Hooper, 2007). For instance, having to gauge and respond to the emotional needs of the parent, serve as their parent’s confidant, and mediate conflict among family members (Dariotis et al., 2023).

How Does Parentification Affect One’s Development? 

Parentification is often linked to negative consequences, as parentified children are typically expected to assume significant responsibilities within their families without adequate support for their own developmental needs (Engelhardt, 2012). This imbalance can leave them feeling isolated and overwhelmed, struggling to express their emotions or assert their needs effectively (Van Parys et al., 2015). Over time, these challenges may breed feelings of resentment and bitterness towards family members, leading to strained relationships and conflicts (DiCaccavo, 2006).

Furthermore, assuming the role of a caretaker can disrupt normal family dynamics and impair social functioning both within the family and in broader social contexts (Hooper, 2007). The pressure to fulfil demanding household responsibilities often instils in these children a strong need to please others, an exaggerated sense of responsibility, and feelings of guilt when expectations are not met (Castro et al., 2004). Consequently, parentified children are more susceptible to internalising problems (e.g., depression, anxiety), as well as externalising behaviours (e.g., aggression, substance abuse, self-harm) (Earley & Cushway, 2002; Jacobvitz et al., 2004; Mechling, 2011).

What Can We Do About Parentification?

Given the maladaptive outcomes associated with parentification, should children be exempt from responsibilities until adulthood? Not necessarily.

Research indicates that when children are assigned age-appropriate responsibilities for short periods, parentification can actually foster positive development (Herer & Mayseless, 2000). For instance, supervising younger siblings over a weekend when parents are ill can allow children to temporarily assist their families without obligation to take over the primary caregiving role (Jurkovic, 2014). Such opportunities can enhance a child’s sense of self-competence, self-worth, and altruistic behaviour (Borchet et al., 2016).

How Do You Avoid Maladaptive Parentification? 

Therefore, to avoid maladaptive parentification, parents should establish healthy boundaries to ensure their children are not overwhelmed by excessive responsibilities that compromise their developmental needs (Hooper et al., 2011). It is essential to evaluate whether assigned tasks are age-appropriate and conducive to the child’s growth before delegating them (McMahon & Luthar, 2007).

For the parentified child, staying emotionally attuned and recognizing the impact of parentification within and beyond the family setting is vital (Chase, 1999). Moreover, fostering open communication and setting appropriate boundaries can alleviate the burden of excessive responsibilities (Peris et al., 2008).

Lastly, seeking professional support, such as therapy, can benefit both parents and children by providing guidance to navigate the challenges of parentification and promote healthier family dynamics (Hooper, 2007).

Overall, by navigating parentification with sensitivity and proactive support, we can create an environment where responsibility nurtures rather than burdens children, thus safeguarding their well-being and development.

 

Written by:

Tan Jo Yee

National University of Singapore

 

References

Borchet, J., Lewandowska-Walter, A., & Rostowska, T. (2016). Parentification in late adolescence and selected features of the family system. Health Psychology Report, 4(2), 116-127. https://psycnet.apa.org/doi/10.5114/hpr.2016.55921 

Boszormenyi-Nagy, I., & Spark, G. M. (1973). Invisible loyalties: Reciprocity in intergenerational family therapy. New York, NY: Brunner/Mazel. 

Castro, D. M., Jones, R. A., & Mirsalimi, H. (2004). Parentification and the impostor phenomenon: An empirical investigation. The American Journal of Family Therapy, 32(3), 205-216. https://psycnet.apa.org/doi/10.1080/01926180490425676 

Chase, N. D. (1999). Burdened Children: Theory, Research, and Treatment of Parentification. SAGE Publications.

Dariotis, J. K., Chen, F. R., Park, Y. R., Nowak, M. K., French, K. M., & Codamon, A. M. (2023). Parentification vulnerability, reactivity, resilience, and thriving: A mixed methods systematic literature review. International Journal of Environmental Research and Public Health, 20(13), 6197. https://doi.org/10.3390/ijerph20136197 

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Engelhardt, J. A. (2012). The developmental implications of parentification: Effects on childhood attachment. Graduate Student Journal of Psychology, 14, 45-52. http://dx.doi.org/10.52214/gsjp.v14i.10879 

Herer, Y., & Maysless, O. (2000). Emotional and social adjustment of adolescents who show role-reversal in the family. Megamot, 40, 413–441. 

Hooper, L. M., Doehler, K., Wallace, S. A., & Hannah, N. J. (2011). The Parentification Inventory: Development, validation, and cross-validation. American Journal of Family Therapy, 39(3), 226–241. https://doi.org/10.1080/01926187.2010.531652 

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Jacobvitz, D., Hazen, N., Curran, M., & Hitchens, K. (2004). Observations of early triadic family interactions: Boundary disturbances in the family predict symptoms of depression, anxiety, and attentiondeficit/hyperactivity disorder in middle childhood. Development and Psychopathology, 16, 577-592. hhtps://doi.org/10.1017/s0954579404004675 

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Van Parys, H., Bonnewyn, A., Hooghe, A., De Mol, J., & Rober, P. (2015). Toward understanding the child’s experience in the process of parentification: Young adults’ reflections on growing up with a depressed parent. Journal of Marital and Family Therapy, 41(4), 522-536. https://doi.org/10.1111/jmft.12087